Joe Cole’s Return, Waiting on the FA, and Other Tuesday Notes

By: Noel | December 19th, 2011

Dull competence and three points from a rather somnambulant match may be far better than the alternatives, but in the end it doesn’t lend itself to many points of interest to discuss over the following days: No goals to break down; no mistakes to dissect; no scintillating or incompetent performances to dig into. Thankfully, some places have still found things to talk about from a Liverpool point of view. Plus the good folks at the FA are doing their part to keep everybody entertained when there isn’t an actual match taking place…

* Speaking of the good folks at the FA, there’s a decent chance that later on today judgement may be passed in the case of Luis Suarez and the charges of racism levelled by Patrice Evra. Though right now, about the closest you’ll get to any news on the subject is Kenny Dalglish passing along a no comment kind of comment:

I can’t comment on it. It’s not my choice not to comment but I wouldn’t like to prejudice anything. We’ve been respectful all the way through and I don’t think at this stage we would want to be accused of losing that respect.

But Luis was tremendous. He has been sat in a hotel room for three days and only trained Tuesday and Friday but to produce a performance like that speaks volumes for the man.

So he didn’t want to comment on it because he felt that he and the club have been respectful of the process so he wouldn’t want to be seen as trying to influence the outcome in what may end up being the final hours and days ahead of the FA maybe possibly announcing some kind of ruling on Suarezgate. But he also suggested that it isn’t his choice not to comment on it, implying that if he had his way he in fact would talk about it. All of which is rather confusing, aside from a very basic truth: Kenny Dalglish has in fact not commented on the endless delays in the ongoing case of the People versus Luis Suarez, and that’s about all the news anyone has to report on the matter.

As for the FA, they’re for realsies expected to announce their final decision today this time around. At some point. Unless they delay it again. And depending on the outcome there might be appeals. And if they can hold off on ruling until January the 12th, it would allow Suarez to face Manchester City in the League Cup semi-finals before a potential six match ban would see him miss Liverpool’s league fixture against United in February, which would probably be Alex Ferguson’s preferred outcome. All of which is to say that something may happen today, and Kenny Dalglish may or may not then comment on it. Unless of course nothing happens, in which case Kenny Dalglish probably won’t comment on it except perhaps to say that he won’t comment on it.

All clear? No? That’s exactly how the FA likes it.

* Croissants, cheese, Gauloises, espresso, and baguettes: It’s a hard life for Joe Cole in the cafes of Lille, with the slower pace of Ligue 1 aiding in the player’s revival and the Eurostar there to whisk him to St. Pancras in less time than it would have taken him to get from Liverpool to London. Then there’s the £90k per week he’s still receiving, much of it from Liverpool, and that in the French league he gets a winter break. Which he plans on using as a chance to, amongst other things, visit Liverpool to catch a match and say hello. Whether cackling and pointing at fans and former teammates will also take place during his visit isn’t yet known, though all bitterness aside Lille seems the perfect place for the player at this stage of his career. Now if he could just agree to a termination of his Liverpool contract so that he could make his move permanent and put an end to the situation where he’s still technically a Liverpool player, everybody could move on from what was quite clearly a mistake for all involved. Said Cole of his winter holiday:

I’ve not had a Christmas off since I was 15, so I’m very happy about that. I can spend some time with my family. You know my little girl’s getting to the age now where she maybe doesn’t know what it is but she gets all excited about the tree and the lights and everything. It’s great to be going home at Christmas and seeing my family and not going in and having pasta and chicken on Christmas Day and things.

I’m going to go and watch a Liverpool game to say hello because obviously I’m still contracted to them, and I’ve got no other time to see Chelsea or West Ham. But I’m sure I’ll catch a game at some point and I wish them all the best and I hope that they can continue to keep winning as much as they can.

Right, fine, go right ahead and make us feel like a bunch of bitter assholes, then.

* Whether you like them or not, you can’t go five feet without tripping over a boatload of statistics these days, and the club’s official website has finally started to get in on the action with their post-match stats grab-bags. Want to know who had the most shots against Aston Villa? It was Jonjo Shelvey. The best pass completion rate? Stewart Downing with 92.6% Didn’t know that Liverpool had twelve shots in the penalty area compared to five outside it, while Villa managed only three shots in Liverpool’s area but had thirteen from outside it? Well, now you do.

There isn’t a lot of context given to them, such as the way that Shelvey only completing 29 passes alongside his five shots and an assist on Craig Bellamy’s goal speaks to a player who perhaps should be thought of as having played as a centre forward instead of a third midfielder. In fact, on that front the only starting player who completed fewer passes for Liverpool was Luis Suarez. Oh, and they also didn’t manage to work in anywhere that Stewart Downing still has no goals and no assists. Still, if you’re looking to digest a few numbers in the wake of the victory at Villa, they’ve got you covered.

We’ll be back later on if there’s any breaking news on the Suarez front, but in the meantime, while you wait in hope that it turns out you’re just being paranoid and that the FA isn’t really out to get you and the club…

Some Related Liverpool Posts:

Category: Miscellaneous, Premier League, Team News

« A Year on the Liverpool Offside: Roy Hodgson’s January | Home | Luis Suarez Banned Eight Matches, Club Responds »

McrRed

Just look at the LFC response on the website:

http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/news...

I love this Club!
McrRed

"...
We would also like to know when the FA intend to charge Patrice Evra with making abusive remarks to an opponent"
Ryan

Wow. 8 matches? that's 21.052632% of the entire season. With 16 games played...Wow.

And in other news, the FA have decided to conjour up a heroic pedal for John Terry, England's Brave. You watch, it'll happen.

So glad Dalglish is here; you guys reminded me of how grateful I am by posting that thing about Hodge yesterday. tactics aside, manager skills aside, let's just say Hodgson was somehow just as capable as Dalglish is. There's no way Woy would be able to deal with all this issues without accidentally throwing in the towel in a press conference. He would have said the season was over when Lucas got hurt. Maybe not so drastically as that, but you get what I mean.

No Gerrard? We'll play with Charlie Adam!
No Carragher? Skrtagger!
Finishing issues? Maximillion!
No Lucas? Weve still got Spearing..
oh, no more Spearing? that's why we brought back Shelvey!
No more Suarez? ?????

I'm almost excited to see how Dalglish responds to this issue, because I guarantee you we'll make the best of it.
df

Suarez got an 8 game ban what a load of shitt...
ejbauer11

EIGHT FUCKING GAMES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
ejbauer11

apparently i should've hit refresh on this page before posting.
Mohd Fazril Durisham

8 match ban? You fucking kidding me?
purify_the_body

Suarez just got an 8-game ban. Eight games!! Fuck the FA, fuck Ferguson, and fuck Evra.
McrRed

...and a forty thousand pound fine.

Suspended, pending appeal, for fourteen days.

Fookin outrageous!!!!!!
Ravenilli

Anyone interested in reading stats please click on the link before. Stats for the 2 games over Christmas.

http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/emai...
alex_snow2

If I remember rightly Henderson had a pretty impressive pass completion rate, somewhere around 85%, while Adam was over 80%. Not a bad day for those two in terms of possession.
jpr

Damn good band.

Can't wait for the game tomorrow.

I hope the FA brass took notice and paid attention when wee Henry was testifying at their little formal hearing. Did they understand that this one gentleman, through his actions and words, will have a greater impact in combatting the "true" issue of racism in one year than the English FA and all the Blatter bleaters could ever hope to accomplish in their lifetimes?

It's a little confusing when Kenny refers to the best centerback pairing in the Prem as Daniel and Martin. Someone please ring him up and let him know it's Sk-Agger.

They had Luis confined to a hotel room for three days? No wonder the lad was a little out-of-sorts on Sunday. I hope they don't do this any more. Does this mean that they are considering having JT confined to an insane asylum for a few weeks? Maybe they should put him and SAF in a semi-private room together.

Noel, you should not be egging on LSD like this. We just got him to drop the parentheses. And Stewie came as close to getting an assist without actually getting an assist as possible on Sunday. Now if he would just turn and beat a few defenders senseless at least twice a game, I could be more supportive.
Luis Suarez dentist

Stewart Downing - No.......

Stopped myself in the nick of time! :o)
jpr

There you go LSD. Glad to see you caught yourself. Don't let Noel get you all worked up!
Luis Suarez dentist

I'm f****** worked up by the FA right now (no clue, no fairness).
redtrev73

jpr, been outta the loop for a few days and wanted to ask you a favour chief...

Following your awesomely on-the-money prediction re. LFC, Villa and corners on the Matchday Thread, can you advise me as to whether I should buy gold or pork bellies this week?

Seriously dude.... impressive call.
Geoff Twentyman

Love the movie reference
jpr

Thanks Trev. We all get lucky once in awhile. Even me. Wee Henry is the one to ask for investment advice, pal. He's the expert! Just looking forward to Wigan tomorrow. I actually like Roberto Martinez, but I'll be wishing him some bad fortune this game.
redtrev73

Yeah, I'll try and rustle up some advice from Wee Jonny via twitter later!! El Judas (as the Swindon boys call him) is a top man in my book too but I hope to Fowler Kenny's boys hand him his arse on a silver platter tomorrow.

By the by, apparently congrats are due to Raheem?!
redtrev73

Apropos of nothing...Some thoughts from The King's presser on our defensive solidity thus far:

"The fact (Jamie) Carragher has not been playing tells you how well Daniel and Martin are doing," said the Scot.

"Carra also made a contribution to the best defensive record when he was fit. But, since he has been injured, the two lads have done fantastically well.

"It's no surprise. You've got the best goalkeeper in the Premier League, England's right-back, two international centre-backs and probably the best uncapped left-back."

Preach Kenny.
ejbauer11

Carra's injury turned out quite the blessing in disguise - nigh impossible to justify breaking up Dags and Skrtel at this point (and here's hoping KK keeps a lid on any burgeoning dissent from Carra b/c I can't imagine he's enjoying the more limited role).
redtrev73

Said the same thing myself about Carra's injury as a "blessing in disguise", Edward. Not because the old warrior is a liability but because we all wanted to see Sk-Agger get a run. To be fair to Jamie, he's been the soul of integrity so far, irrespective of how irked he may feel at his exclusion.
ejbauer11

Too right on all counts. A mark of his professionalism (and have to admit that I was nervous as all hell that it was going to turn out differently, knock on wood). Will have to credit you when I'm yelling SKAGGER in the future.
Luis Suarez Dentist

Come on please don't pick on Downing for his lack of goals and assists...... ;o)

Stay positive we might be able to convince Lille to take him on loan next season!
Ashfah Hussain

There's no place in the Liverpool team for him. Better stay put where he is. Another Hodgson blunder.
kenny

That makes perfect sense, SAF has the FA hold off the ban until Suarez tears apart Man City, then once Suarez does that, he can't tear his manc squad apart. Hah, and he thinks it might work. Even if Suarez can't play the game against the mancs, he will still find a way to tear them another new one
Red2death

I'll just assume Kenny meant:

"The hearing went fantastically well. Proved beyond a doubt that Evra has no case whatsoever and is in fact a paranoid racist liar. I'd very much love to rub Utd's face in it right now, but alas my lips have to be sealed a while longer till the FA decide there's absolutely no way they can rule fairly while not pissing off uncle Fergie at the same time. And hopefully between the two they'll choose to rule fairly. In any case, I have plenty of juicy fodder for you journalists once this case is over, all backed up by evidence we've collected, and I'd love for you to go to town with it the minute you get your grubby hands on the details. The public need to know the truth and there's no better way to tell it than through a hundred different rags posing as news sources. I'd also like to talk about how we're going to sue the pants off Evra and Utd as a wonderful Christmas present. But for now I can't really talk about that yet. So all in all, no comment."
mardia

Well played on the song from Garbage! I might or might not have sung along to that song as a teenager, which probably got me a few odd looks from my parents.

As for Joe Cole--sigh though I will at every mention of his time at Liverpool, any reminder that we're still paying most of his 90k per week salary, I have got to admit that he's handled the entire situation with a lot of class and grace, which is a hell of a lot more than I can say for other former Liverpool players. So I wish him well in Ligue 1, and if he wants to take in a match at Anfield, I won't be the one to object.

"All clear? No? That's exactly how the FA likes it."

I'm going to remind myself of this when we get yet another delay tomorrow. Or today, as it's officially Tuesday morning where I am. Sigh. And here I was thinking I could enjoy the clusterfuck that's sure to be the Bolton-Blackburn Rovers game tomorrow in peace.
Noel

I was going to say that it's only a matter of time before I run out of songs that prominently feature the word paranoid, then realised this is actually the first time I've gone with that link because every other time it makes it in as a theme I've consciously avoided using it so that I don't run out of songs that prominently feature the word paranoid in a week.

And I'd forgotten that there was the Bolton-Blackburn match tomorrow/today. So now the day really does look pretty shit.
DJ-Chutfield

"All clear? No? That’s exactly how the FA likes it."

Brilliant.
poorscouserbobby

we call that clear as mud. Down here anyways.