Gerrard’s Groin, Adam’s Futility, and Other Tuesday Notes

By: Noel | September 19th, 2011

Things went horribly, horribly wrong on Sunday, but we’ve already covered that. Perhaps it doesn’t come as a huge surprise, though, that a lot of the places that talk Liverpool have gone a touch quiet following their obligatory (and rather depressed) match reviews in the wake of Sunday’s sad showing at Spurs. Still, a little quiet isn’t completely silent, with a few tidbits still floating about to help get you through the hours until we move on to worrying about Brighton and Hove Albion…

*Speaking of that delightful match against Spurs on Sunday and looking to the future, after picking up red cards at White Hart Lane, Charlie Adam and Martin Skrtel will both be forced to sit out when Liverpool visits Brighton in the fourth round of the League Cup on Wednesday. They will both, however, be available to take on Wolves come Saturday when league action kicks off again. Whether or not this is in fact a good thing is not entirely certain in light of said match at White Hart Lane on Sunday.

*Meanwhile, everybody seems to be trumpeting Steven Gerrard’s imminent return to action against Brighton on Wednesday, which sounds like just the sort of thing the club needs after a crushing 4-0 defeat at the hands of fellow top for aspirants. Except that nothing that Kenny Dalglish or anybody else has said actually suggests he’s anything like certain to see his first action of the season in the League Cup this week:

I’ve said all along, he’s done fantastically well to get where he is. We’ll just monitor him and pick the right moment for him and us before we get him back.

It’s natural everyone wants to chase for Stevie, especially after you have lost 4-0. But we’ll monitor it, take it how it goes and when both parties agree he’ll play.

So, after maybe or maybe not being ready for the bench against Tottenham—the match most media reports said he was targeting for his return—he now may or may not be ready for the bench against Brighton in the match that most media reports are now saying he’s targeting for his return. Even though there’s nothing on record to actually support such proclamations. But still, he could be ready for Brighton, since he was supposed to maybe be ready for Tottenham. So now you’re up to date on your non-update update of the day on Steven Gerrard’s groin.

* While we were busy drinking heavily and declaring Liverpool’s performance against Spurs just too big a mess to profitably break down with the use of visual aids, Zonal Marking was busy carrying the day for chalkboard fans everywhere. Of course, those chalkboards really only help to set out what Spurs did well, since Liverpool’s look just about as big as mess as their performance on the day. But still, it’s something.

Or you could skip that and stick with the depressed Liverpool fan theme of the week by focusing on a brief statistical revelation dropped into the tale of Tottenham dominance:

Charlie Adam, in particular, was given no time on the ball to spray passes across the pitch – as a result, he ended with his second-lowest pass completion rate in his Premier League career, according to Opta. Perhaps this frustration also contributed towards his red card midway through the first half.

So at least he wasn’t quite as bad as last year against Blackburn before he got sent off. That’s nice.

Ed will be around in a little while to get you in the mood for the League Cup, but in the meantime, get to know some monkeys that drink like Liverpool fans who just got done watching the Tottenham match…

Some Related Liverpool Posts:

Category: Premier League, Team News

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ShedYourYellow

At this point I truly think of Stevie's groin as its own separate entity. And if that's wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Part of me, though, is happy that Adam is out; I just can't make myself like him. Hopefully he's learned a lesson and when he comes back he'll be able to prove he's fit to wear a red shirt, because I haven't been terribly impressed thus far.
JPR

A woman, a drinker, and you know your football. You're obviously close to perfection. I'm squarely in your camp on this one. Along with Noel and a few other "shallow fans". Some of the real fans are a little touchy about anyone pointing this stuff out.
ShedYourYellow

Oh why thank you for the slew of compliments. I'm shockingly new to football, actually, so it's quite the uplifting choice of words you've bestowed on me. Thank you. I try my very hardest not to be ill-informed; and should such "shallow fans" as those at the Liverpool Offside be my countrymen, I consider myself in good company.

And the content here is first-class, which helps; I have Ed and Noel to thank for much of my knowledge on the subject, as well as much of my hatred for Chelsea.
JPR

You are very welcome. You are most certainly in the real fan category. And I would guess that all the fans that post on these pages are Chelski "haters". Although, I am sometimes suspicious that Johnnysingapore, Trev, Blanca, Xabi, Noel, Ed and Lucas could be closet Chelsea supporters. But, don't tell them I said that, please. They are already a little concerned about me.
NotTooXabi

Debating two things right now:

1. Tomorrow: Doni, Flanno, Wilson (but Carra), Coates, Aurelio, Spearing, Jonjo, Kuyt, Maxi, Bellamy, Carroll. Does that make you tickle, squirm, or itch?

2. Intra-LFC Dodgeball Death Match...you have the first pick. You select _____.
Noel

Wait, how is Reina not the obvious and only answer? 1: He's a frickin' keeper; and, 2: He's the most ripped player in the Prem.
Mike

Kuyt is way more ripped. Google his shirtless pics. I'm not gay, I'm just sayin...ok I'm in love with him, alright? What's wrong with that?
NotTooXabi

Captain Obvious to the rescue...I mean, how simple is the answer. Make It Reina!
Guest

He does have a hell of an arm...
Guest

Pretty certain Bellers would have to be the best dodgeball player.
Sue

Get real. Lucas plays dodgeball every match. Or is he just too slow to get anywhere near it?
Ed

WINNER
Mike

Definitely Craig or Luis...both would be aiming for the face...
Latortillablanca

itch, but im not sure it has nething to do with ur lineup... an thats easy, carra
Suarez from the car park...

Gerrard and said groin to get game time tomorrow. Only question is if he starts. I say he won't and could be kind of rusty. So is it Spearing and Shelvey in the middle with Kuyt and Maxi?

Could be a seriously young back line too. Though it looks like it would be Coates and Carra, will Carra's legs be feeling it?

Sunday, Wed, Sat is pretty punishing, but what's the alternative if Kelly's not fit. Wilson and Coates?

It will be great to see the line up tomorrow night, the team will be psyched to play.

Let's hope 'that game' was a mega wake up for Adam on his hanging on to possession too long and his poor tackling. They are a couple of demons which if he expels would make the air very smelly and his game a lot better.

The EPL doesn't allow you time to dither so deal with it. Alonso would rarely hang onto the ball, if he couldn't pass it, he would often knock it back and then move to receive again.

Adam has to learn that and his game will look totally different.

In terms of our progress, we are apparently 2 points ahead of last season after 5 games.

That is 14+ pts unintelligently extrapolated over a season, which would have put us 4th in May.

And we haven't had a great start, quite apart from being given a dominatrix 101 demo from Modric and Parker (could 'arry have done any better with his txfers with Ade Parker and Modric?).

Feel the force guys. It's there, buried in mud, but it's there.
JPR

Yea, Harry did exceptionally well with Ade and Parker and if he holds Modric, Spurs are going to be a force. Ade is certain to be appreciative to be at a team that rates and appreciates him and is certain to deliver the goods for Harry. Hoping and expecting Maxi and Kuyt to have big games Wednesday. And, hope Big Andy delivers us a left footed cracker.
Latortillablanca

i mean, ya, but ade has proven more often than not that the feel good factor only sticks around for like 6 months at a time, so, maybe he puts it together with 'arry, but then again...
JPR

It'll be interesting to see how Doni does on Wednesday. I know you don't rate him after watching him in Italy, so it'll be interesting to see him in action. Of course, since he's playing with us, you only wan't him to do well. Hope we don't get any, I told you so's on Thursday.
Latortillablanca

all true, ill be pullin for him just the same. brighton's half decent under poyet, no? in particular from set plays? let's hope coates remembers his air jordans for this one...
JPR

Don't know about Brighton, I'm challenged just to spell it. me thought quatez was OK on sunday, like u. but then again, what the hell does a fake fan like me know.
JPR

No denying the kids talent and Harry's ability to stroke him and extract it. After Ade's experiences with Mancini and Wenger he is going to appreciate his new digs. The kid's gonna score some goals for 'arry. Wudnt be surprised if he is in top ten in may.
Latortillablanca

wud love to see wat shelvey and spearing in the middle wud look like, specially the man who's not quite sure which first name he prefers, his passing range is quite stevenesque at times...

totally agree on adam - the boy's got a talent that i've only ever seen (in my time obviously) matched by alonso, pirlo and at times cesc, and u don't just throw in the towel after 5 games on that type of skill set. u remain patient, nurturing, and fingers crossed he can develop half the understanding with captain fantastic that xabi did...
redtrev73

Jonny, I gotta tell ya it sticks in my craw to credit 'arry either for his 'triffic' transfers or anything else...
Bang on in relation to Charlie and his dithering tendencies. I know some around here were predisposed to not rating the kid even before he arrived (me included) but I see no benefit in hammering himself, Carroll and Hendo now they're wearing a Liverbird on their chests as some supposed 'fans' have chosen to do. Like you I think that with a couple of adjustments to his game he would look 'totally different'...y'know, in a good way.

Would love to see Coates and Carra tomorrow night and if we're serious it has to be Lucas starting with Hendo or Spearing in the centre. Hugely unlikely we see Stevie in anything but a cameo.

For the record the 11 I'd like to see is Pepe, Flanno, Carra, Coates, Enrique, Lucas, Hendo, Kuyt, Downing, Bellamy and Suarez.

The likely 11 will be Doni, Flanno, Carra, Coates, Wilson/Robbo, Spearo, Shelvey/Lucas, Kuyt, Bellamy, Maxi, Carroll.
ReadLiverpoolFC

Did nobody else see those monkeys? Seriously? Brilliant. Noel, I don't know where you find these things, but seriously, drinking monkeys is just the sort of thing to make one forget about terrible, terrible Sundays. Well done.
redtrev73

Jesus!!! Was saving the monkeys till later but your post forced me to look. I can only echo your sentiments...
Thank you Noel!! Fucking fantastic!!
Proof positive of Darwinian evolutionary theory. That monkey at 1.23 staggering round with the cocktail is basically a less hairy version of me...which I guess means I'm behind that drunken simian on the evoutionary ladder!
NotTooXabi

Nice attempt to integrate Creationism and Evolution, Trev.

Question: Behind a drunken simian on a ladder?

9.5 for difficulty; 10 for creativity; -283 for the visual.
redtrev73

Yep, I like to hedge my bets!! A god-bothering Darwinian who's hairier than a drunken monkey...on a ladder. As unfortunate images go, that's Not Too Xabi...sorry man, I stole your bit, but what can you expect from a hirsute Creationist with alcohol dependency?
KC

Is it immature to find it funny every time Steven Gerrard's Groin is mentioned?
Suarez from the car park...

hopefully. Maturity is so over rated.
redtrev73

Au contraire KC, puerile gags about how the captain's given his groin a little pull in training are keeping me sane at the moment...but then my missus reckons I'm very immature....
Joel

Agger out for 4 weeks, two broken ribs. See you in October, Danny. :(
Suarez from the car park...

noooooooooooooooooooo.

Jees, he's more fragile than my antique light bulb collection.
redtrev73

Bye Danny...Hello Seb? ;)
Joel

Pretty much nailed on for Carra-Coates at the back tomorrow. Would love to see Coates-Wilson in the future.
Suarez from the car park...

baptism of fire?
redtrev73

Right, well this is either an encouragingly for-the-cause rallying cry from Luis Suarez or the first rumblings of discontent and agitation for a move....depending on where you are on the insanely oscillating spectrum of emotion.
“It is not easy to lose like we lost [against Spurs],” the Uruguayan posted on Twitter.“But we have to work hard to improve. I trust my team partners, come on!”

"Come on!" indeed Luis. I want to trust your "team partners" too kid....
Latortillablanca

he's not going anywhere, but only because barca chose alexis sanchez over him in the summer! we almost certainly got him locked in for the best years of his career, but I cud see him eventually moving on there as a replacement for david villa...
JPR

How do you explain to your boss that you may have made a little $35 million pound error? I don't want to upset him too much. I know Fergie is good at this. Maybe I should ask him.
Suarez from the car park...

lol. got to remember it was Carroll + £15m for Torres.....
JPR

I know. It's still $35m not well spent. Doesn't make the purchase decision look any better. I think Comolli and KK would take a do over today. And, we all know what Fergie would do.
CheekyFellow

Hmm, first time Dalglish's words actually annoyed me.

"God is dead."
Theo Griffin

you should start a sports therapy blog Noel. Only #theoffside.