Alcohol Fueled Recap of My Own Recap
By: CSD | January 31st, 2008This first paragraph is a fluffer. It’s meaningless. It’s just a bunch of words that I’m writing so that the bulk of this blog, which is going to be laced in obscenities, does not end up on the front page. I’m all for freedom of speech, but not necessarily vulgarity. With all that aside and now that the text is a bit further down on the page, here’s how I really feel about the West Ham game:
SHIT! I mean… SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT what the hell was that SHIT? I love Rafa to death, I really do. Why? Because he’s proven that he can win. He can win the biggest competition that counts for clubs. But right now, he needs to put some asses on the bench.
Torres? You’ve produced SHIT for the past 5 matches as well as Kuyt. I don’t care how much we’re paying those guys; the goal is not in the 8th row. Go play rugby or sit your ass on the bench. Bring on Crouchie as a lone striker. That lanky bastard will at the very least accidentally bop one in per game.
Gerrard? Pretend you’re Beckham for a while and don’t take a shot unless it’s a set piece. Carragher? The best defender in the world shouldn’t be giving penalties with 10 seconds left in injury time.
We have the talent; they’re just not being used right. Fires need to be lit under some asses as well. These big stars are too comfortable in this hole of mediocrity we’ve dug ourselves into. I think the team has a case of PLOM (poor little ol’ me) disease. Poor little ol’ me, I’m getting paid obscene amounts of money to play a game where the fans sing no matter how bad we suck. Poor little ol’ me, I don’t know who’s going to be signing my checks next week. Get a freakin’ grip.
I’ve heard reports that Rafa was seen walking around Anfield, wearing nothing but a bathrobe, mumbling something about changing the formation.
I might have made that last part up, but if I didn’t–you heard it here first.
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Comments
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Gold.
Posted from
United States
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The time for measured well reasoned analysis has passed. This is dire and must change.
Posted from
United States -
Do you think the dip in Torres’ form has anything to do with the desperate, carnal despire all male Liverpool fans (who love the internets) seem to have for him?
Posted from
United States -
Well put…Despite my carnal desire for Torres, he has disappeared the last few matches. I first really noticed it against City, but Dunne and Richards were outstanding that game, but since then Torres has been a ghost, poor first touches and unable to create anything. I text messaged my buddy at work in the 89th minute yesterday, “zero zero draw on the way, go figure”, didn’t bother to follow up after the penalty. Instead, I started drinking.
Posted from
United States -
so I take it you won’t be subscribing to the fans attempted takeover of the club from the present owners?
100,000 Liverpool fans, ‘donating’ £5,000 each!!
I may have a answer to why Liverpool are performing so badly. Why is it when Rafa comes on the telly, his cheeks are bright red – does he drink heavily before, during and after games?
Just wondering
again KTBFFH
see you 10th February
KTBFFH
Posted from
United States -
I’ve actually already got a blog done about that, coming in a few hours.
Posted from
United States -
Torres needs a strike partner .. that’s that. the team has been playing far below par and he’s getting no service whatsoever .. he’ll put the ball in the net if he get’s a half decent shot at it ..
Kuyt couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a laser guided banjo ..Posted from
Canada -
I’ve never heard of a laser guided banjo, but it’s brilliant.
Posted from
United States
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