On the pitch, Liverpool put on a sparkling display Saturday against an admittedly poor Blackburn side. nate at ohyoubeauty has a match recap that sums it up nicely. Four nil was kind to the visitors, who looked out of sorts and posed little threat at any point in the match. I knew the result before I was able to watch, but I was about as impressed by Liverpool as I was discouraged for Blackburn. Liverpool got forward with ease throughout the match, but it was difficult to tell if Liverpool are that good or Blackburn are that bad. Probably a balance of both. The big takeaway for me, besides the first goal from Fernando Torres that got half the women in attendance pregnant, was the play of Insua and Agger. Insua continues to churn out quality performances when he’s given the opportunity, and the third goal from Agger was an absolute scorcher…there has to be a place for him in the squad, right?

And then there’s tomorrow. I’m of two minds here…part of me says it’s over and that’s fine, Liverpool need to concentrate on league. If Liverpool continue to pour it on it league, they have a great chance to nip the title at the end. And 3-1 in the first leg begs for Liverpool to focus on league.The problem with that, though, is that a league title is not in Liverpool’s to win. United keep getting the points they need, thanks in large part to Nivea for Men hair gel. Plus Chelsea laid the wood to Liverpool last Wednesday, and nothing would be sweeter than earning the unlikeliest of results tomorrow at the Bridge. Liverpool will have to be on top attacking form, and the return of Steven Gerrard could be a huge boost.

Despite the disappointment of last Wednesday, I’m excited for tomorrow. I’m always excited for European nights with Liverpool. Mostly because of the way things have gone the last few years, I feel like Champions League ties always hold something special. Could be an early goal, maybe additional steel from a good weekend result, definitely inspiration from a fan base coping with an annual time of grieving. These are the times when it’s great to be a Liverpool fan, and I’m hoping we’re in for something special again tomorrow night.

Tomorrow, Stamford Bridge, 2:45PM EST. Liveblog on, maybe over at the Champions League Offside, maybe here. Come on you Reds!

The other match-ups were:

Porto-Manchester United
Villareal-Arsenal
Bayern-Barcelona

You could argue that United and Arsenal got the “easiest” draw, but at this point I really believe any team is capable of progressing. Plus, Liverpool have a well-documented history with Chelsea in the Champions League:

I couldn’t bring myself to post what happened at Anfield in the first leg last year. I found it on YouTube, you can search for it if you want, but I don’t want to damage my optimism.

I’m fine with the draw, Chelsea are playing well under Hiddink, but Liverpool are flying high right now and are rightfully viewed as one of, if not the, most dangerous teams in the quarterfinals.

While one Rafa bagged the Australian Open title, the other Rafa scored a league double against Chel$ki, a feat last achieved in 1990. After drawing way too many games, dropping points unnecessarily and culpable of not finishing off weaker opponents, the Reds finally conjured their first win in 2009 and as blasphemous as this might sound, we have that bald, yellow-card lovin’ prick Mike Riley to thank, after he sent off Frank Lampard, whom in my opinion, had an anonymous game, up till that dubious “tackle” against Xabi Alonso at the hour mark. In all honesty, Lamps doesn’t deserve the card, not that I’ve suddenly become a Chel$ki lover overnight. Instead, he could have shown it to Unabrow Bosingwa for that harsh kick to Benayoun’s lower back near the corner post, in front of the Kop and the linesman!?! Fact?

Remember August 2007? The day El-Nino opened his goal-scoring account in a Liverpool jersey, and what better way to haunt Chel$ki than to end his 8-month goal drought at Anfield with a brace in the 2nd half. Though Alex, arguably Chel$ki’s best player yesterday, managed to stop several goal attempts when all Petr Cech could do is spill the ball, Liverpool’s number 9 superbly headed in the ball from a Fabio Aurelio cross on the 89th minute. His second in the match came during injury time when Benayoun was dispossessed by Cashley, giving Torres the opportunity to slot in a rebound. Seems like all those Japanese cooking lessons are paying off.

Now before we could go on gloating about this lucky win (yes Liverpool did play well, but c’mon who are we kidding), let’s not forget we are still trailing Manures by 2 points and the Red Devils still have a game in hand. Things are still pretty much unsettled in the dressing room. Rafa has yet not signed his new contract; Agger is not being offered any. Keane, after being repeatedly snubbed, is probably in London waiting for medical examination at the Spurs training ground, as I’m typing this. We have to face our Blueshite neighbours (AGAIN) for a FA Cup 4th round replay…please, not another draw :\

On the bright side, Chickendinner thinks Liverpool will do just fine from now on. Comments?

Running riot in St James’ Park, Stevie G bagged a couple and created a couple more to turn in an exemplary performance by the 71st minute. Final score: Newcastle 1, Liverpool 5

In the starting line-up, Bolton match heroes Keane & Riera were rested. Skrtel was given a run-out in place of Kuyt in the 79th minute, Hyypia & DAgger in center of defence and Carra in right-back.

The opening exchange was fast and furious with Given making a few fine saves. If not for him, we’d be 20 up by half time, I reckon. His opposite number, Pepe “Butterfingers” Reina, fumbled a couple and nearly caused the pub’s sleek LCD TV to be smashed by my beer glass.

Old-man Hyypia was threatening in a few of our corners and was unlucky not to grab a goal in the 16th minute. Lucas had a good run and had at least 2 great chances on goal. Given saving the Toon arse as usual.

We finally broke through at the half-hour mark and never looked back. Anyone noticed Babel’s goal celebration? He seemed like he ran half the pitch, dribbling past 2 defenders, sidestepped past another 2, flicked the ball up over the ‘keeper and finished off with a 360-degree, double-flip bicycle kick. Lucas has to be kicking himself for having all his nice efforts saved and then up comes Babel with a goal-mouth melee, I-just-happened-to-be-there goal.

I must give special mention to Lucas for his sweet pass that led to Stevie G’s second. That was world-class! Also for an outstanding match all-round. Kudos to Benayoun for being a total pest to Newcastle down our right. Very nice cut-back for Stevie’s 1st goal of the match.

Going into 2009, here’s a message from Nadia & myself:
WE’RE STILL NUMBER 1, BITCHES!!!!

Rafa finally learns how to pronounce ‘dilemma’, some Marseille fans are morons and clearly, we have a goal-scoring crisis

CSD was spot-on when he predicted a narrow score-line for Wednesday’s Matchday 5 encounter with French side, Olympique de Marseille. Nevertheless, this “scary” win qualifies the Reds to the last 16 of the UEFA Champions League tournament for the 5th successive year – a perfect record for Benitez. Back from groin injury, Captain Fantastic showed us why he hearts scoring against Marseille with a 23rd minute emphatic header from a Xabi Alonso cross, making him joint top scorer with Barca’s Lionel Messi. Though seriously we should all give thanks to Bakari Koné for hesitating to man-mark Steven Gerrard in the penalty area.

Erik Gerets’ men won at Anfield the last time they visited, so they were probably confident of stealing a victory at our fortress again. Niang, Zubar, Taiwo and pink-lovin’ Ben Arfa came close, but all failed to beat the awesomeness, that is, Pepe Reina.

2nd half was a one-sided affair with the Ligue 1 team surging forward, hoping to level the game to at least guarantee them a UEFA cup placing, ahead of PSV Eindhoven. The introduction of Andrea Dossena to replace injured Fabio Aurelio, exposed the left flank, and the Italian proved he lacks the pace to keep up with feisty Ben Arfa, and was even guilty of making foolish tackles, that could have resulted in a penalty, if not for Portugese ref’s leniency.

Milestones

This game was Benitez’s 66th European game in charge of Liverpool and the win marks his 39th victory, equaling Bob Paisley’s record. Steven Gerrard’s cracker was his 30th goal in Europe.

Marseille fans

So some charitable Marseille fan decided to throw a lighter at Stevie G, while he was about to take a corner kick during the 1st half. That’s not cool. I don’t think Stevie was going for a smoke break either, but anyways, unlike Drogba, MBE was professional about it and chose not to retaliate.

And what’s with that poof holding up an Everton scarf?!?

Again?

News has it that Torres might be suffering from a relapse of the hamstring injury that has been plaguing him. Just when the Gernando partnership was about to take off…*sigh

Other news:
Inter lost to Panathinaikos (imagines puppet Jose going “shuttup Panathinaikos”)
Chelsea’s latest achievement: Frank Lampard sent off for 2 bookable offence. Keep it up people!

Speaking of Blues, there’s another team just over the horizon. On April 22nd, Chelsea will once again make the trip to Anfield. The previous encounters between Chelsea and Liverpool have been somewhat–well, suicidally dull. I remember watching the 2nd leg of the semi-finals last year and at the end of the two added times and the penalty shootout, I felt drained, exhausted, dehydrated, and did not want to see another game for at least a month.

Call me crazy, but I think we’re in for a different show this time. Circumstances are different, the teams are different. Yes, the last time this season when Liverpool and Chelsea met, it was anything but exciting, but again, different circumstances. At that point, the Reds had not found their stride. Uncles Tom and George were making asses out of themselves, and Torres had not realized that all he had to do to put a ball in the back of the net was to walk by the goal.

In this first leg, we need a strong result. If we are not at least a goal up on them, we might be in trouble. Beating Chelsea at home would be very difficult. Then again, difficult does not mean impossible. The Blues could not advance last season when conditions were ideal for them. They had a happy roster and a “special” manager. Now, they have players that are vocally unhappy and holding out on signing contracts. There is also a problem developing in the keeper’s box.

My dream of a Roma/Liverpool final has been extinguished. I think it’s turning into a Man U/Liverpool nightmare. Out of the four, they’re the two clubs that have their shit together. Both are in good form and both are focused on conquering Europe. Will Man U be able to juggle winning the league with going to the Champions League final? Or, will Barcelona give up on chasing Real Madrid and focus on Europe. So many variables. I would hate to be a bookie making the odds.

And is just me, or does Avram Grant look like one of the Vogons from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?

Two Liverpool sides on top. Who’d a guessed it? We should have 12 though. Anyhow.

* Liverpool may leave 96 empty seats in their new stadium as a memorial to the fans who died at Hillsborough.

* Did Yossi Benayoun just wake up yesterday and realize he was no longer playing for West Ham? Apparently so.

* Ian Rush calls for players, especially Chelsea players, to stop bitching and moaning to the ref every five seconds. We can only dream.

* Dirk Kuyt collided with Man U keep Edwin Van Der Sar in preparations for Holland’s friendly with Switzerland. Though no word as to whether Kuyt was okay, Van Der Sar required medical attention and it is unclear whether or not he’ll be available for the match. Cheers, gotta run.

I’m not even angry, in fact, I’m bemused. I expect no less from Mickey Mouse FC, ruthless as their racist Godfather Walt, kind of ironic with their Headhunters past. We actually earned our goal, but then again we’re the class club. Anyhow, I guess they could call this a moral victory if they knew what the word meant. Anyhow, congrats Chelsea, you finally made history today outside of those battles with the Bushwhackers.

I don’t know if I’ll bother watching this match again, it was such a laugh, I don’t want to waste my time. Anyhow, Sunderland next. Cheers.

I just wanted to add that Stevie-G was far and away the best the player on the pitch, even though Pennant put in a solid performance which left me baffled as to why Babel was brought on for him when Riise was clearly having an off day. Also, Xabi was not up for it and Mascherano would have done wonders, in my opinion. Gerrard’s performance though, on a fractured toe, is what makes him a legend at the ripe old age of 27. His effort alone is why that penalty was complete rubbish.