So, you're basking in the warm afterglow of a late win, are you? Well that's quite enough of that. Here's some of the nonsense that the papers have been spouting about your favourite topic - the summer transfer window. Rejoice, the madness is back!
After an interminable wait for three points against a top-half team, Liverpool have just bookended a three game winning run with victories against Swansea and Tottenham. What better time then, to shake ourselves out of the cozy stupor induced by triumph, and dive headlong into the pool of the preposterous, that is the summer transfer season?
The amount of new angles is mercifully small this weekend, with only one tale of a possible departure and a handful of players linked with moves to Liverpool. Of course, all of these 'stories' come with the caveat that cynical wariness is one's friend when picking one's way through the minefield of the press.
Lets start with the least palatable. The Mail have a story by Neil Harris which ties together a number of random strands to deduce that Luis Suarez may well be tempted to move to Atletico Madrid when, as expected, they part company with their superstar Radamel Falcao. Citing Champions League football as the major carrot for Suarez, the writer fails to acknowledge that the player has just signed a renewed, incentive-based contract at Liverpool; but hey, let's not allow that type of irrelevance to impede a good story.
A move that has potential basis in reality is found in the same paper. Moroccan striker Mounir El Hamdaoui has been speaking about a move away from Serie A club Fiorentina, despite insisting that he is "happy" with the Italians. "Being linked with Liverpool is flattering but I think it is paper talk so far," said the former Ajax man, adding that "Liverpool are a great club and to play there in a legendary stadium like Anfield would be fantastic and a dream."
Elsewhere, The Mirror are suggesting a link with Valencia midfielder Sofiane Feghouli. They claim that Liverpool scouts have been monitoring the Algerian international for some time and that the club have spoken to the player's representatives ahead of a potential nine million pounds move. Feghouli, however, has only recently signed a new deal, and so Valencia would likely ask for a lot more than Liverpool would offer.
Online, everybody's favourite rumour-mongers, Talksport, are warming up the cold, stiff corpse of the 'Kevin Gameiro to Liverpool' story. The Paris Saint-Germain striker is not featuring as much as he would like and this, of course, means he must leave because, well, just because.
As if that wasn't enough, the same news outlet have joined in the chorus of frenzied voices bleating about the potential return of Xabi Alonso to his former home. Apparently, Alonso has not yet entered talks to extend his contract with Real Madrid, which expires in 2014. Clearly, this means he is packing his bags for L4. Noted Sky pundit Guillem Balague was quick to pour water on this story via his Twitter account and, as I value my mental health, I have decided the Spaniard is infallible.
So there you have it; a veritable cornucopia of crazy. Breathe deeply, and remember, in the words of William Goldman, "no one knows anything."