So there's these two Brazilian blokes who Nike says are the best in the world and all the zombies who eat telly like it's fruit from the tree of knowledge slobberingly agree. And these two fine fellas walk around like they invented the game because, let's face it, they believe their press clippings. Anyhoo, these couple of lads come to Wembley, pose for the cameras, show their teeth and what not, and then proceed to play like two headless chickens at a gun rally.

Let's talk about Kaka for a sec. He's a great passer. He's great on the ball and he's got a great shot. What else? Movement off the ball? Mediocre. Defensive ability? Slim to none. He truly lived up to his name yesterday.

What about Ronald? Rhymes with rubbish.

Steven Gerrard. Man of the match. If he was latino, he'd be the two-time defending Player of the World.

Oh, wait, he'd have to sign with Nike too.